Author Archives: Eric

Acronym Accidents

Seriously? UTI? “Well, Mary, before you can understand the plumbing behind motorcycles, cars and boats, first you must understand your own.” Dumbasses.

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Hmm, not sure if I want that kind of perm..

What’s wrong with this image? Oh, right.

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Drip, drip, drip…

Ok, what’s up with this? They actually thought that “Golden Water” would be a good name for a massage parlor? Everyone born in the last three decades is immediately going to think of Dave Chappelle’s R. Kelly send-up. A word to the wise: when selecting a business name, first consult any seven-year-old boy.

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Roofie Blocker!

My friend Forest was hanging out in a bar and got this free promotional item from a Miller Lite girl. I don’t know what is sadder: the fact that women need to re-stopper their drinks to avoid being drugged and date-raped, or the fact that Miller would actually try to capitalize on the situation by […]

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Weather Forecasting is Fortune Telling

This Wednesday, weather forecasters here in Boston predicted a massive storm that would blanket my city with at least 10 inches of snow. Boston preemptively declared a snow emergency, canceling school and towing cars. In point of fact, we got a dusting. Forecasting the future isn’t an exact science. So maybe if the forecasters hadn’t […]

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GoDaddy Superbowl Commercials are Dumb

GoDaddy‘s Superbowl commercials have long pandered to the lowest common denominator, playing off of the “wardrobe malfunction” theme and most recently with their “Too Hot for TV” ad. I don’t mind a company pandering to its likely audience – that’s just good advertising. The problem here is that GD provides internet services: hosting, domain registration, […]

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Massachusetts Voters are Dumb

My home, the most liberal state (er – Commonwealth) in the USA, just managed to elect a conservative republican senator. How did this happen? All politics is local, so I took at look at the NYTime’s election results map by town. It’s interesting. Towns like Lincoln and Newton, where the median single family home sells […]

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Avatar – Brilliant in More Ways than One

I just went to see Avatar. I hate to admit it (I tend to find Hollywood blockbusters shallow and juvenile), but it turned out to be a good movie. Really. I’m not sure if it really needs to be in 3D, though. In fact, it might have been a bit crisper without the blur the […]

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Clothing Manufacturer Shoots Self in Foot

I was going to buy my brother this Red Sox t-shirt. Then I noticed something that stopped me in my tracks – the little “Majestic” logo. My brother is a die-hard Red Sox fan. Not a die-hard Majestic Red Sox fan. No self-respecting fan would wear a t-shirt where the corporate logo of the manufacturer […]

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Physician, heal thyself.

In my previous post, I exhorted everyone to think before acting. Well, it turns out that sometimes I need a reminder to follow my own advice. But what is one to do when the pumpkin on your second-story balcony has gone all rancid and nasty from age and rain-water? Clearly, that plastic shopping bag isn’t […]

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